They didn’t ask for this life. What a sad sight, on a marvelous afternoon, with the sun high and palm trees towering over the ocean—an unusable source—to see beggars on the streets, pleading for not only food and shelter, but water as well. These people live by the day, and their numbers increase, as they fight for every drop. The reservoirs have dried up, and what were once sharp systems of crystal clear refreshment are now makeshift skate parks for rebellious teens. If we do not act, we will be the ones hurt from lack of water. The secret lies in our urine. It’s healthy, there’s alot of it, and its free! Do you want to end up fighting with your fellow citizens over sacred drops of water? Or would you rather have a laugh with your neighbor as the two of you walk to the nearest well to collect more of this golden sunshine? Replacing our water with urine brings peace, equality, and most importantly, freedom. It is our duty as the keepers of the free world to provide for our people, and now we have the answer. Many solutions would be cost heavy and labor intensive, mine is quite the contrary. Not only will the way we gather our sustenance be economical in practice, but it also creates a healthier and happier population, who can say no to that?
I want you to think of your urine. Ignore the color, for it is irrelevant, and imagine the thirst quenching liquid that could save the world. It’s time to face the facts, either convert our diminishing water to supply to an unlimited amount of urine, or wait for our untimely death. We consume lots of water throughout the day, yet we waste that water back into the toilet and into the sewage. Now, instead of this life saving liquid rotting in the depths of the sewages throughout the world, the skate parks will once again become reservoirs full of life: gorgeous dandelion colored urine. Consider the amount of urine produced each day by our bodies—hundreds of gallons—and imagine the enormous potential that this vast amount of liquid holds. Urine, in its most basic form, is water. The design for this process is quite simple. Right now in our current toilets, we have pipes connecting our toilets towards sewers, which will then eventually lead towards sewage ponds. Now, with little effort on our part—nothing changes—the pipelines will direct our urine towards the reservoirs and forever end the concept of the drought. Dehydration no longer would exist, as our reservoirs would overflow with beautiful, life-saving urine. The foundation of our great nation will also benefit, as farmers can nourish their crops at a higher level to ensure a higher production rate. Not only will droughts go away, but world hunger shall be eliminated as well. Livestock will grow bigger and stronger and create better cuts of meat that will make our population stronger and better prepared for the future. Farmers will never have to worry about their water consumption, because they will have an unlimited amount for little sacrifice.
I have a friend who is a farmer, Zach, who works his acre of land with pride. Every morning—5 AM on the dot—Billy the rooster crows, arising the workers and cattle. Zach, along with his workers go to the barn to check on livestock before breakfast, the bleats from the goats and sheep are audible from the mess room. Before a long day’s work in the fields, the men clad in their gloves and overalls settle down in the kitchen awaiting Zach’s wife to prepare the daily breakfast of oats and toast. Based in California, the warm weather nourishes the crops, and a lack of winter weather enables Zach to produce a better yield. His main crops include grapes, almonds, and plums. He may live a simple life, but I have never met anyone as happy with his life as Zach. Before turning in for the night, Zach and his team turn on the sprinklers and give a well deserved drink to his plants, and then the moon glows over the California air.
Returning to my main point, the advantages of urine are clear. First, because urine is almost an exact copy of water, urine can completely serve the role that water previously played. Because of the lack of availability of water to the common farmer, production of crops has been smaller than years past, therefore hunger and poverty has risen. With urine, most of the world’s issues would not exist, as it would solve many problems that a lack of water could not fix. Second, farmers could use a limitless supply of their own sources of water, at a low cost. There finances could focus elsewhere on their crops because urine is not hard to obtain. Never again would we see poverty in the streets, for it’s because of an unlimited supply of urine that farmers can produce more food—they can be less conservative with their liquid—which in turn causes the price of all foods to drop, making sustenance more affordable for the poorest of people. Third, when urine is released it is warm, because of the average body temperature. Therefore, hot water in the winter is unnecessary, which in turn can lead to less energy burned. It has been proven that the more hydrated one is, the happier one is because of a higher energy level and lower fatigue level. Because of the recent droughts around the world, people have been reluctant to drink the right amount of water per day to live healthily, creating a population less likely to live their life to the fullest and be motivated to work every day. With urine as our main source for hydration, every man and woman will live a happy and healthy life.
Now, some may question the practicality of using what is in essence our waste as a way of hydration—using our waste for something productive. When my idea is boiled down to its most rudimentary form, there’s no way to refute its usefulness. The pricing of reshaping the pipelines could prove heavy, however the end result will make up for the initial cost. Because obtaining and distributing the urine is so cheap, the initial cost of organizing the pipe system will be irrelevant once the system gets up and running. Others might squirm at the thought of drinking their own excretion, the color is too yellow to get past. If color is the issue, then I plead you look at the millions of yellow sports drinks sold and then try to tell me that the color of urine is a turn off. Urine, like water, has no taste, and anyone who refuses to accept urine as a hydrator because of its taste is a selfish liar. Those that are uneducated are within their right to question the sanitation of such a scheme. However such claims are foolish, as they do not correlate with the digestive system and how the body uses liquid. Once we swallow the water, the liquid then moves throughout the body, absorbing different nutrients, until it finally releases as waste. So, urine has the same makeup of water if not a healthier one.
So, in the future when you are hopefully drinking your gorgeously yellow urine instead of bland water, think of more than just yourself. Every drop matters, because every drop we waste we become one step closer to our untimely death. Think of the benefits that urine will bring to the world, whether it be in the home or at the farm. Because of its fair pricing, practicality, and overall healthier content, urine will be the liquid of the future in ensuring the success of this world.
– Luke Green, The Haverford School, Class of 2016